What beauty means to me
I think you already know where I’m going with this one, for the most part. Being AFAB (assigned female at birth) and working in the beauty industry puts me in a unique position to share the impact of different definitions of beauty. We often allow others to influence our understanding of beauty, and we struggle to see the same beauty in ourselves that we see in others. In the beauty industry, there’s a new trend or product every few weeks. Capitalism feeds on our insecurities and those societal standards of beauty to ensure we are always feeling like we need to do more or have more in order to fit those standards. You wouldn’t believe how many times I scroll and I hear “sorry for how I look” “ignore my face rn”, “forgive me I didn’t have time to put makeup on”. We are made to feel apologetic for showing up anything but our ‘most beautiful’. I find that every human has a different perspective on beauty, and yet most people find themselves held to the same small set of standards. These standards are upheld to keep us feeling inadequate and unworthy. Every human deserves to feel like they are embracing their own version of beautiful.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a good collagen mask before an event, and I will be damned if someone tries to take away my curl cream, but I think we all deserve a break from the ever-evolving whirlwind that upholds white-supremacist, euro-centric ‘idealism’ of beauty. One of the best things about doing hair is connecting with peoples authentic nature and bringing out their unique and beautiful qualities through their personal style. I love a classic shape and color, but finding that custom undertone, or that specific fringe or layering that brings out someone’s confidence, that’s fucking beautiful.
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. Of course it is. Is this how we feel when we behold ourselves? How do we turn towards self love and finding beauty in everything? My own path to what I find beautiful about myself came from finding beauty around me and recognizing it in myself. The patterns and relationships of nature reflect in our own genetic makeup and relationships. It’s time we realize we’re made of the same things that create sunsets, rainbows, mountain ranges and oceans, trees and forests, and all beautiful things around us. The pressures of beauty upon us do not reflect the beauty around and within us. Nature can teach us so much more, but at its simplest it teaches us to embrace your evolution; allow your unique journey to reflect on how you put yourself out into the world, and embrace difference from others. Thousands of unique species can exist in the same genus, millions within the same family. Each reflects its own evolution, its own journey of existence and survival. If we can embrace ourselves and see the beauty within our own authenticity, we can create a new standard of beauty.
We don’t all have to look unrecognizably different from one another, and so much of style and beauty is based on inspiration from many sources. We just need to allow ourselves to embrace what makes you feel most connected with yourself and your inspiration. While individuality and uniqueness play a large role in my definition of beauty, there is no beauty without connection and community. The most beautiful humans I know, and the most beautiful acts I have experienced have been rooted in care and connection with others. Our most beautiful selves are our most giving and loving selves, our grieving selves, our most vulnerable and open selves. I have seen it in my chair, and in my community, beauty is something you feel. Yes, you ‘feel’ beautiful sometimes, but beauty itself, when you know something beautiful is happening, when you see something or someone (especially yourself) embracing their most beautiful self, you feel it. When you do feel you are seeing or experiencing something beautiful, let it challenge your internalized standards/beliefs and consider what is creating that feeling for you, and how you can create that for yourself! (and if that means buying/doing the trendy thing, BUY IT, no judgement here!)
You define beauty, don’t let it define you!
